50 Acts of Kindness for Yourself (Each One Takes Under 10 Minutes)

If you want to be kind to yourself, start with something you can tick off today: book the dentist appointment, eat lunch away from your desk, cancel one thing this week, put the phone in another room for an hour. Below are 50 acts of kindness for yourself, every one under ten minutes, grouped by the moment they fit: an ordinary Tuesday, your body, your head, the day you made a mistake, the week you feel anxious, a season of grief, the stretch where you are simply worn out, and a few for future you.

This list is for anyone who is better at being kind to other people than to themselves. None of these are affirmations. You will not be asked to feel anything. Each one is a thing to do, nearly all of them are free, and each has an easier version that takes under five minutes. The easier version counts.

One rule for the whole list: treat yourself the way you would treat a friend who was having your week. If you would not say it to them, do not say it to yourself. If you would do it for them, do it for you.

The psychologist Kristin Neff has spent years studying self-compassion, and her work, along with that of other researchers, points the same way: people who respond to their own setbacks with ordinary kindness are more likely to try again, not less. Being hard on yourself is not what keeps you going. The self-kindness hub has the short version of these ideas. This is the long one.

Everyday acts of kindness for yourself

These are the Tuesday ones. No occasion, no crisis, just a normal day made slightly easier.

1. Eat lunch away from your desk. Take the whole break. Sit somewhere else and leave the laptop behind. Easier: Eat the first five bites without a screen.

2. Put the phone in another room for an hour. Charge it in the kitchen while you read, cook, or sit. Easier: Turn it face down and silent through one meal.

3. Say no to one thing this week. The meeting that could be an email, the favor that drains you, the plan you dread. “I can’t make that work this week” is a full sentence. For more ways to say no kindly, see kind vs nice. Easier: Do not reply yes today. Sleep on it.

4. Go to bed thirty minutes earlier tonight. Set an alarm for the start of winding down, not just for waking up. Easier: Get into bed at the usual time with the phone outside the room.

5. Make the good coffee or tea. Use the nice mug and the beans you save for guests. Easier: Drink it sitting down.

6. Write down three things you did today. Not three things left to do. Three finished things, however small. Easier: Write one.

7. Spend ten minutes on something with no purpose. A puzzle, a guitar, a sketch, a walk with no step goal. Easier: Look out a window for two minutes without picking up the phone.

8. Clear one surface you look at every day. The nightstand, the desk, the counter by the door. Easier: Take only the trash off it.

Acts of kindness for your body

Your body does not need a wellness routine. It needs the basics you would insist on for anyone you loved.

9. Book the appointment you keep putting off. Dentist, eye exam, physical, the mole, the knee. Find the number and call, or book online. Easier: Write the clinic’s name and number on a sticky note by the kettle.

10. Drink a full glass of water before your next coffee. Easier: Fill the bottle and put it where you sit.

11. Walk around the block with no destination. Ten minutes, no errand attached. Easier: Walk to the end of the street and back.

12. Stretch for five minutes before bed. Neck, shoulders, hips, whatever is tight. Easier: Roll your shoulders ten times at your desk.

13. Eat the lunch you actually want. Not the quickest one. Easier: Add one thing you like to what you were already having.

14. Get daylight on your face within an hour of waking. Open the blinds, step onto the porch. Easier: Drink the first coffee by the window.

15. Refill the prescription before it runs out. Order it today and turn on the pharmacy’s reminder. Easier: Count how many are left.

Acts of kindness for your head

Most of what weighs on you is small, undone, and loud. These acts quiet it.

16. Do the task you dread first. The one that has been on the list for a week. Set a timer for ten minutes and start. Easier: Open the file or write the first line of the email.

17. Unsubscribe from ten emails. Easier: Unsubscribe from the one that arrived this morning.

18. Clear one nagging admin item. The form, the return, the password reset, the bill you keep sliding to the bottom of the pile. Easier: Find the paper or the login you will need.

19. Turn off notifications for one app. Easier: Mute the group chat until tomorrow.

20. Unfollow three accounts that make you feel worse. You know which ones. Easier: Mute one.

21. Write the worry down and close the notebook. One page, everything in your head, then shut it. Easier: Write the worry as one sentence on a sticky note and put it in a drawer.

22. Finish one open loop. Reply to the message you have been drafting in your head, return the thing, make the decision you keep deferring. Easier: Pick the loop and write it at the top of tomorrow’s list.

When you’ve made a mistake

Most people search “how to be kind to yourself when you make a mistake” after the mistake, late at night. Here is what to actually do.

23. Say what happened in one plain sentence. “I missed the deadline.” Not “I always do this.” The fact only, no verdict. Easier: Say it out loud once.

24. Write the apology to yourself you would write to a friend. If a friend sent you a shame-filled text about the same mistake, what would you reply? Write that reply, addressed to you. Easier: Write just the first line.

25. Fix what can be fixed in ten minutes. Send the correction, apologize to the person affected, reschedule the thing. Easier: Write down the one next step and when you will do it.

26. Name one thing you did right the same day. It does not cancel the mistake. It corrects the record. Easier: Name one thing you did right in the same hour.

27. Give the replay a closing time. “I’ll go over this until nine, then I’m making dinner.” Easier: Set a ten-minute timer.

28. Tell one person who likes you. Not for advice. “I messed up today and I’m being hard on myself about it.” Easier: Text “rough day, no need to reply.”

When you’re anxious

Anxiety wants you to think your way out. Most of these go through the body and the room instead.

29. Name five things you can see, four you can hear, three you can touch. Slowly. Easier: Name three things you can see.

30. Breathe out longer than you breathe in for one minute. In for four, out for six. Easier: Three slow breaths out.

31. Do one job with your hands for ten minutes. Wash the dishes, fold laundry, pull weeds, knead dough. Easier: Wash one mug slowly.

32. Write the worst case and the most likely case side by side. Two columns on one page. Easier: Write the most likely case only.

33. Step outside for five minutes, whatever the weather. Easier: Open a window and stand at it.

34. Postpone the decision you are spinning on. Pick a time tomorrow and write it down: “I’ll decide at ten.” Easier: Write the decision on paper and turn it face down.

If anxiety has been running your days for weeks, that is a reason to see a doctor, not a personal failing. In the US you can call or text 988 any time, for yourself or for someone you are worried about.

When you’re grieving or having a hard season

A hard season is grief, a breakup, a layoff, a diagnosis, a long stretch of caregiving, or a year that simply will not let up. If it is a friend who is grieving, the post on acts of kindness for a grieving friend is written for that. This section is for when it is you.

35. Lower the bar for dinner. Toast and eggs. Cereal. A frozen meal. Easier: Order in and skip the apology. (Costs money.)

36. Let one message go unanswered without guilt. Mark it read. The person will survive. Easier: Send “got this, will reply when I can.”

37. Say the name of what you lost, once, out loud. The person, the job, the relationship. Pretending it is not in the room is exhausting. Easier: Write it down.

38. Do one ordinary thing at the usual time. Make the bed, walk the dog, shower at seven. One fixed point in the day. Easier: Brush your teeth at the usual time.

39. Ask for one specific thing. “Can you pick up milk?” “Can you sit with me tonight?” Easier: Accept the next offer someone makes instead of saying “I’m fine.”

Grief is not an emergency, but it can tip into one. If you have thoughts of not being here, call or text 988. That is what it is for.

When you’re exhausted

When you are worn out, the kind act is almost always subtraction. Nothing on this list adds to your day.

40. Cancel one thing this week. Say so plainly and do not over-explain. Easier: Move it to next week.

41. Say “not this time” to the next request. Easier: Say “let me check and get back to you,” then take a day before you answer.

42. Lower the bar for one chore. The clean laundry can live in the basket. The dishes can soak overnight. Easier: Pick the one chore you are allowed to skip tonight, and skip it.

43. Take the nap. Twenty minutes, alarm set. Easier: Lie down with your eyes closed for ten minutes.

44. Leave work on time once this week. At the time it actually ends. Easier: Stop checking email after dinner tonight.

45. Delete one thing from your to-do list without doing it. Easier: Move it to a “someday” list.

Acts of kindness for future you

The person who wakes up tomorrow is someone you can be kind to tonight.

46. Set up tomorrow’s coffee tonight. Beans in, water in, mug out. Easier: Put the mug out.

47. Lay out tomorrow’s clothes. Easier: Pick the shoes.

48. Write a note to Monday-you. On Friday, three lines: where you left off, what to do first, one encouraging sentence. Easier: One line on a sticky note on the laptop.

49. Put one thing in the calendar that is only for you. Two weeks out: a walk, a movie, a long lunch. Easier: Block thirty minutes next week and label it “mine.”

50. Pack the bag tonight. Gym bag, work bag, kids’ bags. Easier: Put the keys and wallet by the door.

A 7-day self-kindness strip

If you want to try this as a week rather than a list, here is one act a day, all from above. Tick the box. Do not make up a missed day.

Day	Act	Easier version	Done
Mon	Book the appointment (#9)	Write the number on a sticky note
Tue	Eat lunch away from your desk (#1)	First five bites without a screen
Wed	Do the dreaded task first (#16)	Open the file
Thu	Phone in another room for an hour (#2)	Face down through one meal
Fri	Write the note to Monday-you (#48)	One line on a sticky note
Sat	Walk with no destination (#11)	To the end of the street and back
Sun	Set up tomorrow’s coffee (#46)	Put the mug out

If a week goes well, the 30-day kindness challenge has self-kindness woven through a longer run, and the kindness journal prompts give you something to write at the end of each day besides a tick. If you are reading this in January, the New Year kindness challenge makes a better resolution than most, because the bar is one small act a day and the easier version counts.

What to skip

Some things get sold as kindness to yourself and leave you worse off.

• Retail therapy with a self-care label. Buying something you cannot afford because you had a hard week is a bill arriving in a month, not an act of kindness. Nearly everything on this list is free.
• Numbing and calling it rest. Three hours of scrolling or a bottle of wine can feel like a break. Check how you feel afterward. Rest leaves you better than it found you.
• Comparing your version to someone else’s. The bath, the candles, the morning routine on someone’s feed are their version. Yours might be booking the dentist.
• Turning this into another thing to fail at. If you miss a day on the strip, you did not fail self-kindness. Skip the catch-up and do the next day.
• The big overhaul. New routine, new diet, new everything, starting Monday. It collapses by Thursday and you end up less kind to yourself than before. One act is the unit here.
• Waiting until you have earned it. You do not have to finish the project, lose the weight, or fix the mistake before you are allowed any of this.

Frequently asked questions

What are examples of acts of kindness for yourself?

Eat lunch away from your desk, book the medical appointment you keep delaying, put your phone in another room for an hour, cancel one thing this week, go to bed thirty minutes early, and lay out tomorrow’s clothes tonight. The best ones are concrete tasks you can tick off, not feelings you are supposed to summon.

How can I be kind to myself when I make a mistake?

State what happened in one plain sentence, without the verdict. Fix whatever can be fixed in ten minutes. Then write the reply you would send a friend who had made the same mistake, and address it to yourself. Give the replaying a closing time, and tell one person who likes you.

Is being kind to yourself the same as self-care?

They overlap, but self-care has come to mean products and routines, and kindness to yourself is mostly plainer than that: the appointment, the nap, the no, the unfinished chore you let go. Self-care as usually sold costs money. Most self-kindness costs ten minutes.

How do I start being kinder to myself?

Pick one act from this list and do it today, then do one tomorrow. Use the test from the top of the post: would you say this to a friend, and would you do this for a friend? If the honest answer is yes and you are not doing it for yourself, that is the one to start with.

Where to go from here

Pick one act from this list and do it before the day is out, then come back for another tomorrow. If you want the choosing done for you, the free daily kindness challenge sends everyone the same small act each day, with a streak and no account, and a good share of those acts are for you rather than for someone else. The self-kindness hub collects the shorter list of these ideas, and when you are ready to point the kindness outward again, there are 333 random acts of kindness ideas to pull from.

Get one small act a day

Reading a guide is easy; changing your habits is hard. The free daily kindness challengesends one small act at a time so kindness becomes a practice, not a bookmark.

Start the daily challenge